The night

The night is cold, the breeze slight. I am sitting in my room with the warmth of the heater around me. I am listening to the children laugh, as they watch a funny cartoon, and hear the baby's quiet breathing, asleep, snuggled in her crib. My heart is joyful, my spirit content. My faith strong, my hopes high. My children safe, my family held up in prayer. I am a blessed daughter of God, there is nothing more I could ask for.

5 months

In 50 minutes, it will be 5 months to the day I left my marriage. I thought the divorce would be final, and the drama lessened. I was wrong. But, God continues to bless me, hold me up and provide for all my needs. I will have faith, and continue to trust him in all things. I will look to him when I need strength, hope and encouragement. His word, is the answer to all things. Regardless of my failures, wrongs and sins, God loves me, loves my children and forgives.

Your heart is spoken for

Alone, the endless beating of a drum
Louder than the sobbing of a soul.

Life, a desolate place of waste
Hungry for destruction and decay

Sorrow, a parasitic leech
That drains joy irreplaceable

Hope, a mocking laughter
Taunting endlessly, unreachable

Time, a steep icy path
Slipping away, not caring it was wasted


I have been positive and encouraging. I have been strong and had faith. I have trusted my God and he has delivered. But, that doesn't mean I too have days where I question, regret, feel sad or angry. Or days where I wish I could go back many years and start all over. God does not promise that we will never feel pain, or grief, or sorrow. He does not promise we will never cry, or scream, or be angry. He does not promise it will be easy, or that we will not stumble and maybe even fall at some point. He only promises that during all these things, he has us in his arms, gently holding our hearts while sharing our pain. No matter how secluded we feel, no matter how much loneliness settles upon us, God is with us, in us, carrying us, loving us, wiping our tears, and whispering "your heart is spoken for, you are mine, you are never alone".

119

I have survived. 119 days done and gone. I will survive the rest of the days yet to be counted too.

Chains

The chains you wrapped around me,
Are broken completely.
I do not give power to the words brought forth from your mouth,
They are meaningless.
I will not fear your presence and I will no longer look over my shoulder,
YOU are the coward.
I am not what you made me believe I had become
I am strength, love and hope.
I do not care to dwell in the misery you have caused me,
It has taught me to grow.
Your anger and hate will not steal another moment from me
I have forgiven.
The bitterness you laid upon my heart, my soul, my life..... just ashes
The wind has carried it away
Our past will not haunt me nor make me shed a tear
I will smile, I will laugh, I will live, I will love.

Live

Rejoice, for I am the one true God
Sing, let your voice light up my heavens
Pray, I hear every word and answer
Love, I command you to do this
Confess, I will forgive
Honor, do this to yourself as you do me
Live, now and for eternity in my promises

Heart

My heart Lord, is yours. Every blessing in my life is from you, and every sorrow in my life you carry for me.
My heart Lord, is yours. You forgive every transgression, and you rejoice when I repent. You make me spotless.
My heart Lord, is yours. You break down my enemies. You fortify my brothers and sister faith, so they have the strength to battle the unseen on my behalf.
My heart Lord, is yours. Let every word I speak, everything I do, and all that I am, reflect the wonder of the awesome God you are.
My heart is fully yours Lord.