Not a kid

Tonight at dinner my 11 year old said "mom, I don't feel like a I can be a kid anymore. I do here, but not at my dad's. I don't like it. I hate hearing all the stuff he says about you and dad ( referring to his stepdad), and it's really tough all the time." I told him I was sorry he felt that way, and I would keep doing what I could to help him feel like a kid at my house. My youngest chimed in " mom, they say bad stuff all the time. Can't you stop them?" My 9 year old asked the same question. I told them that we can not control what other people do and say, only how we respond.  I told them they could ignore what was being said ( I tell them this frequently) or walk away. My 9 year old said " they talk alot about bad stuff when we are in the car, so we can't get away." Jokingly, I told him to put his fingers in his ears, make funny faces and say la, la, la, la, la.... and actrd it put for them. All the kids laughed,  but then said they would get it in big trouble for doing something like that. I told them I was sorry they were dealing with this problem, but that like always,  they would never have to deal with that at our house, and to keep trying to ignore it. I then changed then subject and we finished our dinner, with smiles.