Talking about court

I do not speak to my kids about their dad or his family. Period. I do not think it is healthy for them to know about his abusive past with me, or his current abusive use of the courts. When they speak about his behavior with them, I choose my words carefully,  and try to only acknowledge their feelings, while not putting their dad down. The court has made it very clear that we are not to discuss the case with the kids at all or each other.  I never tell the kids when we are going to court, when we have had court etc. So last October, I was appalled, but not surprised when the kids came home and said that KR had told them we had a court date a few days before, but that I had refused to show up and that I was trying to take them way from him. Kids should have no knowledge of adult problems, especially court. And a parent should never be forced into a corner to defend themselves against an allegation like that  (especially when I was not trying to take his children away from him!)